Pride and Prejudice Letters to Grandmama
Dear Grandmama,
Mr. Collins, our increasingly uncharming cousin came to visit us for a week he tries to "charm" us by reading us long sermons, and never. stops. talking. I am sure that if he ever comes again he will drive me completely insane. Well, on his fourth day of visiting, would you believe he asked for a private conversation with me! I begged mama to stay, saying that Mr. Collins couldn't possibly have anything to say to me that he couldn't say with the others there. Much to my chagrin though, she left me in the kitchen to listen to a rant. Mr. Collins went on forever, speaking about Lady Catherine, and his duties as a priest, and on and on until, I was horrified to realize that he was proposing! I tried to put a stop to his speech, but Mr. Collins would not have it...So I had to hear him out. When he got down on one knee and spoke of how happy we would be together, he paused for a breath and I was able to speak. I contradicted his opinions, said we would be terrible together, and frankly told him I would not marry him. Would you believe that he refused to listen. He actually said that he was sure I was only saying so to make him love me more. I contradicted him and than fairly flew out of the house. My mother got quite angry at me and told me she wouldn't speak to me if I didn't marry him, but when she tried to bring Father in, I was relieved when he said that on that day I would have to choose to not see one of my parents, for my mother wouldn't see me if I didn't marry Collins, and my father wouldn't if I did. I was so happy I hugged him. Later we were all surprised to find that Mr. Collins had proposed to my friend Charlotte, on the same day! She accepted him and I am sure we will never be able to be the friends we were, one because she will inherit my house, and two because she consented to marry a madman. I hope you find some laughter in these proceedings.
Bewildered and Sorry
Elizabeth
Mr. Collins, our increasingly uncharming cousin came to visit us for a week he tries to "charm" us by reading us long sermons, and never. stops. talking. I am sure that if he ever comes again he will drive me completely insane. Well, on his fourth day of visiting, would you believe he asked for a private conversation with me! I begged mama to stay, saying that Mr. Collins couldn't possibly have anything to say to me that he couldn't say with the others there. Much to my chagrin though, she left me in the kitchen to listen to a rant. Mr. Collins went on forever, speaking about Lady Catherine, and his duties as a priest, and on and on until, I was horrified to realize that he was proposing! I tried to put a stop to his speech, but Mr. Collins would not have it...So I had to hear him out. When he got down on one knee and spoke of how happy we would be together, he paused for a breath and I was able to speak. I contradicted his opinions, said we would be terrible together, and frankly told him I would not marry him. Would you believe that he refused to listen. He actually said that he was sure I was only saying so to make him love me more. I contradicted him and than fairly flew out of the house. My mother got quite angry at me and told me she wouldn't speak to me if I didn't marry him, but when she tried to bring Father in, I was relieved when he said that on that day I would have to choose to not see one of my parents, for my mother wouldn't see me if I didn't marry Collins, and my father wouldn't if I did. I was so happy I hugged him. Later we were all surprised to find that Mr. Collins had proposed to my friend Charlotte, on the same day! She accepted him and I am sure we will never be able to be the friends we were, one because she will inherit my house, and two because she consented to marry a madman. I hope you find some laughter in these proceedings.
Bewildered and Sorry
Elizabeth
Comments
Post a Comment